Growthtrac Community

[SAM]

Welcome Filmawny - glad to have you with us at GT Community.

There are two other books I would like to recommend - The Five Languages of Apology - also by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas. And, From Anger to Intimacy by Gary Smalley and Ted Cunningham.

You can check out some interviews Growthtrac did with both authors -
http://www.growthtrac.com/artman/publis ... m-1229.php
http://www.growthtrac.com/artman/publis ... s-1048.php


Glad to see you are looking at your contributions to the breakdown of your marriage.
It seldom lies solely in one person's lap - there are usually two contributors.

[CandyAnn]

I feel as if I am the wife described in this post. The situation for me has been the relentless behavior of my husband verbalizing and acting out his every fantasy with me for the past 18 years. I won't go into the whole story, but if you are interested you can go back and read my previous posts. My husband doesn't see his behavior as the problem. He thinks that the problem is that I've made too big of a deal about it. He has never been able to admit that the real problem is his sinful behavior and right now I doubt he ever will. I can barely stand the thought of being intimate and am extremely depressed.

He has finally quit verbalizing his filth to me, but that is the only change. He doesn't see any connection to his past behavior towards me and the way I currently feel. I am sure he thinks that things ought to be hunky-dorey for us now, but I feel totally messed up and unable to get beyond the past. I know that the fantasies are continuing in his mind. I also know that if I were to agree to allow it, that he would begin the verbalization again in a heart beat. He has told me on many occasions that he doesn't see anything wrong with it. The Bible clearly defines it as sin.

I don't know how to get past this. Is there anything that your wife needs to get past or heal from before she feels that she can trust you with inticimacy???