Growthtrac Community

[dgr]

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much has happened the last couple of days. Tuesday night we were talking and I got her to read Proverbs 31 which talks about the noble wife. She read it and began to cry. She then paused for a while and asked me to forgive her for all the things that she had done to me through the years (average marriage hurts). She also told me that I was forgiven. After talking and praying a bit she then told me that she still wasn't sure as to what direction she wanted to go with our marriage and asked if for the time being would I settle for her just being nice to me. I told her yes that was a great start.

The next morning (Wed) we got up and as I was in and out of the house (we weren't working because of Hurricane Gustav) I noticed her reading my book "Landmines in the Path of the Believer" and then going to her bible. She would also read parts of a Purpose Driven Life then the bible. At times she would just put her head down and cry. I saw her on her knees in prayer. I had to go to football practice at 12:00 ( I'm a high school football coach) and when I came back she led me to the bedroom and sat down and told me just be quiet that she had some things to say. She told me that she had spent the entire day reading, praying and more reading and that she was totally committed to me and our marriage. She also told me that when she had came back on the previous Sat she only came back for the kids and had still been angry with me. She said that I will never have to worry about her leaving again. She also asked me to be patient with her as she will still have some sad days because she had emotionally detached herself from me and had moved on. She then got on her knees and asked me to wholeheartedly forgive her, which I did. I got on mine and asked the same, which she did. We made a major milestone!

She's been a mixture of sad today as well as happiness. She's told me that a huge weight is off of her shoulders now. I just have to give her time, which I WILL!

For too long I withdrew from our marriage account and never made a deposit. I have a lot to deposit and will happily do that. As the husband, I take full responsibility for all of this. I let my family get out of church, I let us get away from daily prayer, I let us get away from family mealtime, and I took her for granted. I will strive daily to never do that again.

We have a lot of work to do. I still have to realize that I can't fix everything and that she needs space. We also have to learn how to fight fair. She has emotional needs that I have to be aware of. I told her that she has a dumb ole football coach for a husband and sometimes she'll have to spell things out for me but that I wanted to be the best husband I could be to her.

I give all thanks to a merciful loving God for bringing this magnificient woman back into my life. Thank you all as well for giving me support in this trying time.

I'll still be on here with updates as well as advice. Please keep us both in your prayers.

[rdsmith3]

Thanks a lot for telling us this. Praise God. It is amazing how He can change people's lives. This is an encouragement to many of us, too.

[FaithHopeJoy]

dgr

Your post, and your story, is an awesome example of God's grace. It gave me a much needed lift this morning and I'm sure it will do the same for many. Thank you for sharing.

I read Jeremiah 29 today. Verses 11-14 give us so many reasons to be thankful. What a wonderful thought that when we seek the Lord with our whole heart, we find Him. It sounds as though your wife is doing exactly that.

May our great God continue to bless you both - and all the oithers on this Forum who remain committed to their spouses and their marriages, whatever the trials along the way.

FHJ

[km]

dgr - This is great news.

Please make the effort to tread extra lightly for a bit. She needs to have this new outlook take firm root and it would still be easy to derail things. A super-sized dollop of patience is particularly important for the time being (it is now going the right way, let it build momentum for a while).

[montanna]

DGR,

GOD is GREAT!!! I so needed to hear your story this morning it just proves that NOTHING is too big for him... Be patient and wait on his timing is a great for all of us to learn in your story!

Give it time, it still needs time to heal! But thank God for this lesson in your marraige before it was too late! He is Soo Great!!!

Have an amazing day!

[dgr]

I am going to give her time. A lifetime! Right now she is with 3 of her girlfriends on a weekend getaway, just to get her mind off of everything and to allow her to soak in just what all has happened. Me and the boys are giving our home a major house cleaning. One of those deposits I was talking about.

She is such a wonderful woman. I believe that she is really throwing her whole heart behind this. She is still not ready for total intimacy yet (while I'm chomping at the bit inside )but I want that to be when she is entirely ready.

Before, when we'd try to fix things it was just us trying by ourselves. We have cried out to God this time and are praying daily together. God is moving in our marriage I know that. We've both had to look inside ourselves and realize that not everything is pretty.

I just have to realize that an improvement of 1 inch a day is still an improvement. But she's doing much more than that!

[SAM]

DGR,
Thank you for letting us know. Our God is such a good God, isn't he?
It is so wonderful to hear about His faithfulness and answered prayer.

[dgr]

God is good. I don't really know why this happened. Its almost like God was telling me that I had gotten too far away from him. I had been raised in church. I know scripture and biblical teachings. However, I have been running from God for quite some time. We haven't tithed in forever, I brought alcohol into our home and introduced it to my wife (who had never drank), and we don't go to church regularly. This has shook me to my core. I realize that I have been out of God's grace. I've went to the woods behind my home and cried my eyes out because of what has happened. I have two boys ages 10 and 7 who love to go to church yet so many Sunday's I've sent them to my mom's for her to take them.

This is bigger than my marriage. I've got to get right with the Lord for myself. I don't know where it all began. I don't even know where to start. I went to 3 bookstores today and all were out of "The power of a praying husband". I guess there are many more men out there like me buying up all the books. LOL

BTW- we got beat tonight so I'm feeling extra bummed out.

[charity1]

dgr,
Isn't it amazing how things change for the good when you are trying to live right? The closer you get to God, the closer you will automatically become with your wife. She knows when you are just trying to get your way, and when you are sincere. The fact that you have "cried your eyes out" shows the godly sorrow the Bible refers to. You are to be commended for recognizing the harm you have been doing to your family and wanting to make it right. Continue to study God's word and pray. He is obviously blessing you.

[dgr]

God is blessing both of us. We are praying like we never have before.

I'm really working on all of my issues so that I can be the best husband for her. She's really jumped in with both feet on this as well . I'm so proud of her that I really have to hold myself back from moving too fast.

Thank you Km for that advice on letting it build momentum. I need to remember that daily. It is building momentum right now and I surely don't want to derail it. I love this lady too much for that.

Please continue to pray for us as we enjoy the rebirth of our marriage.

[marriage]

I just want you to know that your message is a blessing to me I am going thourgh the simmilar prolbems to yours right now I am praying that I can have the same outcome. keep up the prayer and commitment. Hope for you nothing but the best.

[dgr]

Thankyou and I hope that your situation gets better.

As for me and my wife, we aren't out of the hot water yet. She has periods where she pulls back and hardens up again. I have times where I get "preachy" as she calls it. Last night was difficult.

I told her today that I finally got it. Also told her she is going to have time, true time.

Please keep praying for us.

[marriage]

I am still at the point where my wife does not even want to talk to me. she feels that everything I say to her is an attack on her. It is very hard But I have hope through everyones support on this site and the lord.

Thank you

[dgr]

My wife now acts like she never made any of those promises.

I'm about at the end of my rope.

[km]

I'm so sorry to hear that.