Growthtrac Community

[SAM]

Your more than welcome. Please know you have someone here who is praying for strength and guidance for your purity.

[FreshfireRev]

I'm so glad that someone has the guts and the boldness to ask such a question as "Is Pre-Marital sex okay (especially in the context of a 'Christian' relationship?")

First of all, let's face it. We're all humans, and we are all created by God. God also created our sex drive and our desire for physical, sexual intimacy. That's why He initially created the love act.

The thing that I have found myself wrestling with most, is the whole question of: "If God created sex, and He created both Males and Females, and He gave us a rather incredible sex drive, as well as an innate desire for physical intimacy and connection with someone of the opposite gender, then why would He say that it's wrong to experience it outside the confines of the marriage bed when He himself never experienced it in the first place?"

You mentioned in your post that you are both Christians. Knowing that, you probably both know and realize what the Bible has to say regarding pre-marital sex, so I don't think that I need to even go there. Yes, God encourages you to abstain from sex until marriage, but let's face it, if the two of you have already had your hands all over each other and you can't seem to keep them off each other, and you really truly love each other and you're engaged to be married, (meaning that the two of you fully intend to spend the rest of your lives together,) and the two of you have sat down with each other and have rather seriously and soberly discussed your relationship, and you both feel that you're more than ready to cross that proverbial "line" and physically consummate your relationship and you've discussed both the positive, as well as the potential negative repercussions and you've also discussed contraception methods and have agreed on one, and fully plan on implementing your chosen method when you reach that proverbial "point of no return" the night the two of you become "one flesh," then I think that you're more than ready.

Find a place where the two of you can be totally alone together for at least 3 days, where there will be absolutely no possibility of interruption. A beautifully appointed hotel suite would probably be the best place for the two of you to consummate your relationship. Take your time! Go slow, and enjoy the oneness and union of sexual intercourse.

[rdsmith3]

then I think that you're more than ready

I am not sure if you sincerely mean this or not. As Christians, we grow to realize that it only matters what God thinks, not what we think. All of us want to hold on to our sinful desires, but we hopefully grow to realize, with God's grace, that we should love God more than we love our sins.

[FreshfireRev]

I am indeed sincere, and I do mean what I say.

I am more than willing to agree to disagree with those of my Christian colleagues who are more traditional and conservative than me.

I'm looking at things from a logical, rational, realistic, culturally relevant 21st Century point of view.

[rdsmith3]

I am indeed sincere, and I do mean what I say.

I am more than willing to agree to disagree with those of my Christian colleagues who are more traditional and conservative than me.

I'm looking at things from a logical, rational, realistic, culturally relevant 21st Century point of view.

Beliefs and values do not depend on the decade or century in which we live, nor do they depend on my logic and cognitive abilities or yours. In fact, moral relativism is one of the absolute worst things to happen to mankind. If you have no absolute standards, then you can make your values whatever you want. That is why today we have abortion and euthanasia.

It is not my job to convince you that God wants us to follow His word, and He means all of them, not just the "culturally relevant" ones.

You have to choose yourself.

Joshua 24:14-15

“Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

[rdsmith3]

Remember also Genesis 3:1

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.

He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”

[km]

As a fellow at the mid-century mark, I came of age in the 1970s. The mature Christians around me generally came of age in the 1960s or 1970s. The "free love" went through when we were of prime ages (and urges) for that message and many of us indulged (and over indulged).

I would say with some assurance that all of us who indulged wish we had waited (I know of no excetions). Being "logical" and "practical" and all is a smokescreen for compromising with sin. Nothing more. Is purity easy? No. That doesn't make it something one can disregard.