Growthtrac Community

[faithtroubles]

I have been married to my husband for over 8 years. We have struggled our whole marriage with various problems. He had a porn addiction before me and the first 5 years of our marriage and the biggie was that he wasn't saved and didn't believe in Christ. It was the craziest thing, I never asked the question of his salvation until after we were deep in our relationship together and when I found out he was a non-believer I just shifted my priorities to what made me happy. I didn't realize him being a spiritual leader was such an important part of our marriage.

A lot of poor choices have been made on both of our parts in our marriage. We have gone through times where we weren't meeting each other’s emotional needs...he would run to porn and I would run to other people. I have never physically cheated but there has been one emotional affair that he knows about and I have put myself in very marital compromising situations that made me very untrustworthy.

He overcame the porn addiction but still has been running from Christ until very recently.

In the passed 3 weeks he has came a LONG way. He has committed his life to Christ and has promised me that he was going to work to become the spiritual leader of our family. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!! I have prayed for this for 8 years!!!!! I am a little scared because I don't know if he is doing this because he knows if he doesn't eventually it is going to cost him his family OR if he is really doing it for himself...or if it matters. When he overcame his porn addiction he started attending church with me and said that he believed but over the passed 3 years he slipped away. I didn't hold him accountable then. It was hard for me to confront him so I never asked if he was saved. I just assumed that he was. I didn't want to 'pester' him with it. Until recently I didn't realize how important that it was for me that he be the spiritual leader of our home. But I truly NEED that so I started asking more questions...putting the heat on the situation.

Knowing some of the background does anyone have any suggestions on how I can support him...other than meeting his emotional needs? Anyone know of books that would be helpful for either of us? What do we do next to keep us on the right track?

[webacus]

faith, sorry for the delayed response.

First, I'm celebrating your husband's decision with you.
Amazing. This is huge.

I wouldn't question his motives. What's important is that
he made the decision (i.e. there was a defining moment
in his life when he realized he is a sinner, asked God for
forgiveness, said he was sorry, and asked Jesus to
be his personal savior.)

One of the most effective first steps is to join a small group.
I highly recommend that.

Check out this Podcast

Also, consider some spiritual intimacy steps.

Read this article series

Prayer. Pray for him. And pray together.