Growthtrac Community

[psu45]

Shortly after I was married to my wife of 17 years, I found out that she withheld from the fact that she had a STD that could not be cured. Four months into our marriage and without discussing with me, she allowed herself to become pregnant with our first son. That was the start of our marriage and it has been peppered with dishonesty and manipulation since. I am now at the end of my rope and want to move on. By now I am as much a part of our problems as my wife is but I am completely out of emotional energy. I am a Christian and my wife professes to be one as well. I don't know what to do besides move on; I am out of hope. Is there any?

[SAM]

There is always hope when God is involved...Always.

Having been in a place of wanting to give up on my marriage I can only share with you my personal experience.

I proclaimed to love God with my mouth, but my heart was not in the same place. My heart was lukewarm to cold. I was not immersing myself in his word everyday. He was not the first thought of my day - usually he was an afterthought.

Is anger, unforgiveness and her sin toward you justifying the decision process that it's OK to leave your marriage? No matter what justification you have come up with in your heart, our Lord tells us in scripture that he hates divorce. It is not OK, it is not justified, it is not allowed if we say we love Him. I cannot proclaim to love him, yet not love the gift he gave me in my spouse. The equation does not compute...

And it was true... my heart had grown very indifferent to God.

Psalm 119:11 - I have hidden your word in my heart so that I might not sin against you.


1 John 2:15-16 - Do not love the world or the things in this world (divorce being one of them) . If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in them. For all that is in the world is not of the Father but is of the world.

I am sitting here this morning reading a new book by Dr. Gary Smalley called Change Your Heart, Change Your Life. That is exactly what happened to me -

I changed my heart toward God and my husband... and it changed my life.
I was ready to divorce... and God's love stopped me from doing so.