Growthtrac Community

[Going4theHealer]

My husband is a pastor of a ministry...I had some anger issues and had been diagnosed as bi polar recently....he has called me toxic, demonic, etc...he wants an annulment...he does not believe me in any of the healings that I have received. My therepist said I have a very mild bi polar and most of my behavior is due to PTSD....my husband only wants to hold everything over my head and quit on the marriage. I want my marriage healed and restored. We both heard from God that we were to be each other's spouse...please pray for the bondage of satan to be broken off our marriage and off my husband and for divine healing to take place.

God Bless

[SAM]

Welcome to GT Community - we are so glad to have you with us.

I have lifted you and your marriage up in prayer today.

Have you made an appointment with your doctor, with your husband present, to discuss this illness and the course of treatment? That would be great to do, as it would help him have perspective.

If this were someone in your congregation would your husband counsel them to divorce? I think not.

Marital counseling and accountability is a necessity for your marriage to survive.

[Going4theHealer]

SAM-

I have been in counseling for over a year now and have done a lot of healing...he wants no part of it and will not even do joint counseling. I have told him "in sickness and in health" and he said this does not apply. He refuses to be involved in any type of counseling and/or healing process with me. I am soooo much healthier than I was before and continue to work on. I want to be healed and delivered from my PTSD and that is what I am and will continue to work on. I had been raped, molested, verbally, physically and emotionally abused. He is aware of all of this but still will not be a part of.

thank you for your prayers.

blessings

[SAM]

Does your husband have a trusted advisor?

Are you willing to get the church involved?

I do not know your husband, or his reasons behind his decisions.
But I have to assume there is a problem with pride, when he refuses to seek help through marital counseling.

[Going4theHealer]

I have tried both. He is only a pastor of an ministry that is geared towards the homeless...the people on his ministry team do not really want to involve themselves other than they told him they believe it is due to him not doing the right thing with his marriage the ministry is not growing

His reasons is he does not believe I have made my changes and healings...but he wouldn't know as he will not even talk to my accountability. He tells me that I can not handle marital counseling...which is just another lie from satan.

[SAM]

Are there any men in his life who are trusted Christian friends who are willing to step forward and speak truth to him?

In other words be a Nathan? Nathan is the prophet who was willing to step forward and speak truth to King David about his sin with Bathsheba.

Is there someone in your husband's life who would do this?

[Going4theHealer]

From my understanding....he keeps changing his accountability which tells me he is not liking what he is being told....and I know 2 of our pastors have tried to speak to him and he blows them off and says it is all me. I have repented my sins to him and to God and have admitted to pastors where I have made my errors and they know of my healings.

[SAM]

You cannot change a prideful heart. But you can pray for one and ask God to change it. You can lay it at the feet of Jesus and ask for a miracle.
You can ask God to bring the right person to him, that will get his attention in speaking the truth.

If you haven't read The Power of A Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian, I would highly recommend it. Also, His Needs/Her Needs by William Harley.

You cannot force, beg, plead, cry, or coerce him to change his mind. It will not happen. But, you can work on you and the changes you need to make, and love him like Christ loves him. Keep walking in Christ's footsteps and love him in spite of his sin.

[Going4theHealer]

That is what I have been doing and will continue to do. Thank you

[rdsmith3]

When you say PTSD, are you able to share a little more about what the trauma was? Was your husband or another male part of the trauma?

I pray for your marriage, and I pray that your husband's eyes will be opened to his responsbilities as a husband.

I have seen first hand how a pastor's life can fall apart because of family issues that were buried and not dealt with. It is very complex, but in brief, the pastor of the church we previously attended lost his church and any position in ministry. I believe that a large part of that is because of unresolved issues in his family and his marriage. His wife has a big role in the issues, also. Sadly, though, she has filed for divorce. Interestingly, God arranged for us to run into him at the wholesale store on Sunday. He seemed so sad.

[Going4theHealer]

Dear rdsmith3

PTSD-post traumatic stress disorder...I had been molested when I was little from my babysitters son and raped when i was 18---I honestly thought I had dealt with all of that plus, my mom, who was my best friend died when i was 22, my step dad was verbally and emotionally abusive and my ex husband was physically and emotionally abusive. To say the least, I have learned to build up a huge wall and that is what I did in my marriage...I have come a long way in healing, but my husband does not believe me and will not give me a chance.

thanks for your prayers