Growthtrac Community

[ike]

God knows our problems so decouraged right now. ready to tap out Our problem began long before her fall.I have always worked at every thing while she has always had a more lazy approch not laid back lazy as in i will do anything as long as it doesnt require any real effort on her part. unevening yoke would be the standard here with her doing as little as possibly. While i shoulder all the load. if i say any thing then i am complaining. if i say nothing then am with holding affection. someone plaese tell how to be mom cook househusband bill payer and christain dad. i have felt like a single parent for 9 years. i did not go out sleeping around to make myself feel better. instead i came home worked till i could not stand up slept a few hours and started all over again the next day. ASKED, no begged for her help. all i have gotten is empty promises.And that is all i have gotten for the last 11 months empty. promises that sound good but know substance she may be repented but she still want be there for the kids or me. chosen instead her mother, sister, and there bussinsess over us. now after all the money and time we have invested into there work she does not even take enough money home to cover our baby sitter we are nearly bankrupt with no money in my account to pay for our bill she does not save but want to live higher than we can afford. bankrupt now her reason for affair angry at me for not supplying her with the life style she wants to live. i told her she need to either get of the fence be a wife and a helpmate or fellow satan going back and fourth is not fair to our kid me or our so called marrage god may have callled me to love her but know body said any thing about letting her destroy our lives. for selfish reasons. just wish she was not so self destuctive. god bless to all just needed to get that off my chest.

[SAM]

It is not any easy road when you live with a self-absorbed person. It's tough and awful and painful and infuriating to watch someone only think about themselves.

The unequally yoked thing is hard. I walked this road with my husband for a time. But, I want to assure you that your actions and loving kindness and the attitude and servanthood of Christ that you show her, speaks volumes! While I was far from perfect, the love I showed my husband by calmly talking to him, not fighting back with curse words, and just loving him in spite of himself, drew him closer to God.

We also went through bankruptcy at the time due to a business failure. We were at the bottom of the barrel and had no place else to look but up.

So, if you can find yourself a great support system, with other men and through your church, that is what you lean on and that is the foundation you can lay for your children. That is all you can do - you cannot change her, her attitude or her actions. You can pray and ask God to bring people into your wife's life that will clearly show her Christ's love.

Scripture is very clear -

1 Corinthians 7:12-14

12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

You may not see this woman as a blessing, but she is. You chose her, even though it may not have been a wise decision. And, if you hang in there with your marriage, you will receive blessings from God for your determination to not give up.

[ike]

Thanks Sam for the encouragement your right i did chose her.the desion was how every based on lies even from the very beginning she like a polatician has missrepersented her self some with lies she told some with lies she let her family tell me. I dont trust any of them now. cant rebuild what never really been there. I do understand my christian calling though I pray for them even the other men it is not easy though. but i know they need salvation as well if I understand you correctly you went through bankrupty i am sorrow you had to go through that ordeal i still dont know if can do it my self im a little old to keep starting over again i guess it would be differant if i could see something good come from this. your comment about the church my pastor knows and 1 deacon the deacon is divorced he has know regretts and cant fathom my staying my pastor is not equipped to help and i cant afford counseling these is my only out let for my feeling i hope i dont bring people down that is not my intention its just hard right now. she has resorted back to some of her old habbits and it makes me doubt her intention she says one thing and does another she said she would not drink but went drinking with her cousin and father any way. i know backslideing when i see it but she want listen to my warning. god will not be mocked and i dont want to but my kids through another ordeal lord i dont want to lose my mind trying to hang on to someone who only tries half heartly at anything she does. i fear i will eventually have to walk way anyway to just find some peace i should not have to look over my shoulders and doubt her intention she acts like it my job to redeem her actions and its not. if she is really content then she would not need the drinking and the male attention that goes with it the word content does not in any way apply to her actions she is unhappy and very incontent and i am very tired please keep us in prayer i will pray for gods contual blessing on you and your husband thanks for shareing your testomony i know it glorifies god someday i know this will be worth it but god has only promised me this day

[SAM]

Have you heard of the book Power of A Praying Husband by Stormie O'Martian? Also, there is a wonderful author by the name of Leslier Vernick who has written How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong and The Emotionally Destructive Relationship.

[ike]

No sam have I have not heard or read many book lately the bible and work lecture is all i can find time these days I took a night off from house work and i am sitting in house that looks like has been abandon for years w cousin has moved in with her 3 children as well these is the mode i live with i can barely feed and house my own kids and i am expected to clean and supply for her cousins as well these was done with protest on my part as well they brought lice with them and these makes cleaning a must its alway fell to me to pick up and fix what ever broke on damaged no matter if it my responsable are not.overwhilmed at times. broken almost all the time. but i do pray with her and with our children every night every morning they know how much god loves them and how much there dad does as well.still fighting the good fight still not giveing satan a hold in our lives. Iwill try to find them though and when i can try to find sometime to read them thanks for the advise hope all is well at your home have a blessed day.