Growthtrac Community

[SAM]

Has your daughter gone to any pre-natal/parenting/Lamaze classes?

As you have mentioned, the volatility of her emotional state makes you worry for this child.
What will you do when she is home alone with this child, and you are at work?

I have a friend who had to report her daughter to DCFS for slapping her baby to get her to
stop crying. She took pictures of red marks and bruises on the baby. Hardest thing she ever
had to do, but for the sake of the child, she had no choice.

Luckily, the baby was placed in a wonderful foster home, and the foster parents
are working through the process of adoption now. They've had her granddaughter
for 3 years, and she does get to see her.

[rdsmith3]

FWIW, a couple that is friends of ours are wonderful foster parents. They have provided a warm, loving, Christian home to a child since she was an infant. There are good foster parents out there.

[ladyt]

She is in a parenting class and should be going to Lamaze when she feels like calling the place back to set it up.

[ladyt]

It's so sad that my dau and her dad does not talk until she doesn't like something I do. Her and her dad texted all night long last night after I got on her about the missing money. So now he knows I have money to pay my attorney and he may feel I have lots more where that came from. I borrowed the money from my 401K.

My dau denies contacting her dad and his sister-in-law last night. I confronted her with the phone records and she told me to cut her phone off if I will keep checking on her calls and to stay out of her face.

So I will shut the phone off and I will stay out of her face and let her get her dad to take her all over town and do for her. If he wants to buy me out he can but he can't since he says he's pay was cut in half.

This is TOO MUCH! The lies and sneakiness and no telling what her and her dad are scheming, but I really don't need to worry about it. God is in control and He knows best for me.

[ladyt]

In checking my daughter's cell phone usage this morning, I noticed that she has been in contact with her dad since the time of confrontation about the missing money. There are more than 80 text msgs between them and a few phone calls. I want her to talk to her dad, however when she's angry she tends to lie and blame and instead of him being a parent, he takes her side.

Not sure what's going to happen since they hae been in constant contact through 1 am this morning. She cannot handle being told anything she does not want to hear or consequences for poor behavior. I talk to her, leave notes of love and thanks for a job well done for the smallest of things. I think she does not love herself so its hard to love or understand someone else's love for her. Her counseling session did not go well yesterday. Her dad could be guiding her in the wrong direction for his gain. Sad. In the end it will be her choice and she will have to live with it.

[ladyt]

Now I know for sure my teen stole $2100.00 from me. She did not know I was getting off early on Weds. She told me she was going to Walmart and I asked with whom and how was she getting there. She said, "By car, with a friend." Well I got home she had not returned. When she returned she returned by taxi, paid the driver an unloaded all these bags. I asked her where she got the money from and she said she borrowed it from the un-named friend. She would not give details as she said it was none of my business and if I continued she would go off.

Well I asked for the receipt and she would not give it to me. Well I found 2 receipts just now where she purchased a phone and minutes for $*.00, fireworks for $18, so the groceries look like about $80 but I could not find the receipt. She called up the receipt and threw it in HER trash can. How careless when she's trying to lie about taking the money. Now I know she bought herself those expensive Christmas gifts and said her friend bought them. I will go to her friend's house and ask him in front of his parents did he purchase those gifts as she says he did. Mind you, he has no job but he can afford the portable play station and all those games.

[resecured]

ladyt,

Just wondering how it's going for you these days? Hope things have calmed down a bit since you last posted.

-RJ-

[ladyt]

Hello,

Thanks for asking. Thank God things are getting better. My divorce was final Jan 28th and my ex is still trying to be ugly but I'm still praying for him. My daughter was having contractions at 6 mos so she is now on bed rest until she has the baby late April early May. She has been doing very well. No more attiude and calling me names etc. Her dad text her sometimes and he finally after months of not seeing her, took her to lunch Sunday. I'm glad its over. He was in "like" with me but not in LOVE. I was a stable financial force in his life. He has a new place and has decorated it very nice. So I'm rebuilding my life as I move forward. I bought him out so I was able to keep the house. Praise God.

[resecured]

ladyt,

I'm praying for your daughter and grandbaby. I was on bed rest with my son so I know how hard it must be on her having to do so at such a young age. Perhaps she understands now how much you truly love and care for her. I hope you are taking care of yourself, too. You deserve it.

Keep us up to date about the baby, your daughter and you. OK?

-RJ-

[SAM]

Ladyt -
Glad to hear you are finding some peace in the midst of your turmoil.

Have you had an opportunity to seek out a divorce recovery/support group?
I want to encourage you to consider doing so. Peel back the layers of the
relationship onion to understand yourself better, and to rebuild your
confidence and self-esteem. These groups often speak about relationship
issues that help the "light bulb" go off to where you can see patterns that
were unhealthy and can avoid them in the future.

Sorry to hear your daughter is on bed rest. I will keep praying for all of
you and the precious little blessing growing inside of her.

[km]

The bed rest might help her absorb how much she really needs you.

I'm glad to hear things seem to be going better.