Growthtrac Community

[MotherOfTwins]

If you could give all the younger inexperienced wifes out there one tip of advice, from a wife with years of experience (YOU) what would it be

Titus 2:4&5

4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

[SAM]

To look at your husband without the magnifying glass of criticism. To find the character traits you love and build him up with words of respect. Respect is the greatest gift you can give him.

[Treasures07]

Love is Constant Forgiveness. Don't hold the mistakes he makes against him and you can't bring it up again in later discussions.

[km]

As I am a man, I don't really qualify for this thread - but Treasure07 raises one most men I know would love to take hold amongst their ladies.

[rdsmith3]

As I am a man, I don't really qualify for this thread - but Treasure07 raises one most men I know would love to take hold amongst their ladies.

Amen to that

[Elligirl]

Respect him.

[rdsmith3]

Respect him.

We have had a lot of conversation around this in our couples' small group. We are familiar with Eggerich's work, and my wife and I have watched his seminar on *.

However, some of us, including me, believe that a wife's love is presumed before respect. In other words, we men really need both. The love is taken for granted; it is the respect that we want. When God cursed Eve after the fall, one of the things He said is that her natural inclination would be to dominate her husband. I believe that the command in Ephesians for wives to respect husbands is directly addressed to the natural desire for a woman to do otherwise.

In my case, my wife has said on more than one occasion that she does not love me; does not like me; hates me; wishes she were not married to me; regrets marrying me; etc. For me, both love and respect are missing. Call me selfish, but I would really like to have them both.

[SAM]

Well said, RD.

Remember the crazy cycle that Eggerichs also speaks about?

It's seems that without the love, then the respect is not there either.
The two go hand-in-hand.

Or, if you aren't loving me the way I need to be loved, then I can't respect you.

[j3anjean]

Respect respect respect! BeSUBMISSIVE as God has commanded. It is not a dirty word-it is an important role in the marriage.

Find some new reason to be grateful for your husband each and everyday. Tell him. Notice the little things and they will build on each other.

Never bring the words, divorce or hate into your marriage no matter how you feel at the moment. You will burn bridges.

You will get out of your marriage what you are willing to put into it. If you give love, in the face of all of your trials, his heart will open up to you.

[Elligirl]

My husband always knew I loved him, he still does. He also knew I submitted to him. It was respect that was missing in our marriage. It was there to start with but then things ate away at it slowly.
Now he is destroying his self respect are maybe he was doing so all along.

I do not post many of my own problems here lately but I do feel this is needed for this discussion.
As some of you may know my husband has been living with another woman on and off for the last year and four months. I felt God call me to stand for my marriage shortly after he left and have been doing so since.
The ow left at the end of June and was gone for over two months during this time my husband saw other women and continued to call the ow#1 and beg her to come back. After two months of living with two other men she agreed. She stayed put almost three months this time and left on the 29th of November. The first thing my husband did was to call me he seemed glad this time to have her gone. It has not lasted and he is once again calling her and begging her to come back.
We have spent a great deal of time together since she has been gone. The first day was great but on the second day it hit me hard. Why had I stood for this marriage why should I struggle to forgive and forget, I had been hurt so many time in the past year. I was praying asking these questions of the Father. His answer was clear. "Because he is your husband"
Respect is the hardest thing for me right now of all times, that is why I need to pray for it. Even with what has gone on my husband knows I love him and knows I always submit to him but the respect thing is very hard right now, that why I know how important it is.
God bless you all.

[Treasures07]

I would like to add that I have taken to focusing on his positive qualities. I even gave him a 10 Things I love about you list for Christmas. He seemed to appreciate it.

[j3anjean]

Sometimes, my husband will do something nice for me. For example, everyday he brings me lunch at work. I always say thank you but sometimes I take a few extra minutes at the end of the day-or send him a text msg or an email to say how much easier that makes my day and how much I appreciate him thinking of me. He needs to know that he makes my life better. He needs to know I need him.

Each week, I write a new love note with a silly picture on his bathroom mirror. Something like, I have a crush on you- or You are the man of my dreams. Sometimes I write him something personal and sexy. It always makes him laugh and he seems sad when I clean the mirror and he doesn't get a new note right away.

I wrote "I love you!" in glow in the dark stars on the ceiling over our bed. Or I have written the snow, 10 foot hight letters saying I [heart] you in the pasture in our front yard.

I try to be creative and let him know that he is my sweetheart. I do my best to keep things from ever going stale. It is easy to get in a rut. It is the little stuff

I let him know that my love is UNCONDITIONAL. When he fails, when he screws up - He is my best friend and I would not leave my best friend behind because he is struggling. That is when he needs me most.