Growthtrac Community

[softy7]

My husband and I have been married for 5 years and we've always had a shared account in which I have direct deposit. He is self-employed at the time, however, work now is slim to none. Even though we are living on one income, he constantly writes bad checks and takes money out of the account without letting me know. Even when I bring it up, he acts like he has no idea what I'm talking about. This is nothing new, this had been happening for the past 5 years. I have always believed that when people get married, they become one. Therefore, bank accounts should be joint. However, I am struggling to make ends meet because there is never enough. After talking with a few of my accountability partners and other Christian advice, I have opened a separate account. My husband doesn't know yet and I feel like I am being dishonest and a hypocrite. However, I'm trying to use wisdom. I feel like I have been a fool for thinking he would stop these tendencies on his own and become financially responsible for our family's wellbeing.

[km]

If one of a couple is financially savvy (or at least competent) and the other is not financially competent, then it would make sense to have the finances overseen by the competent one and out of the hands of the incompetent one.

However, one of a couple doing things behind the other's back without telling/consulting/discussing is a problem of its own - which isn't justified by the others issues as to money managment.

This may just escalate the battle - not because it isn't a good idea on its own merits, but because it was imposed unilaterally and unannounced.

My wife and I are both fairly good with money - but found that we were unable to operate a single checking account with two people writing checks off of it. We were unable to consistently get all checks written into the register and keep it balanced (we were both always able to keep our individual accounts balanced flawlessly, but couldn't do so jointly - we just approached the task differently and the styles didn't mesch). We have maintained 2 checking accounts for decades. One gets her checks direct deposited to it and she has the checkbook for it. The other gets my checks direct deposited to it and I have the checkbook for it. Her account is the one that household bills are paid from (it provides for free electronic * and we save postage with that option) and with each paycheck I get, I write a check for most of it to her to put into her account.