Growthtrac Community

[mom_of2boys]

Well, see my post below first, about the lying. I went out to my husband's truck this morning to gather all his loose change. I told him a few weeks ago that I wanted him to bring all of his change in because I was going to start rolling it. It adds up over time and right now we need anything we can get. He said fine but never did. So I figured I would just get it myself. Well, he usually has a ton of change but I think he used it over the weekend because we were way short on cash, no real biggie, better than charging stuff. I open up his middle counsel and find a large bottle of pills but only about 10 or so in there. My first thought was Vicodin because I know he's taken them before when he didn't have a prescription. I looked up the pill inscription when I got to work and it is Vicodin. I ended up taking the whole bottle out of his truck so he is going to know that I found them when he goes to look for them.

I've been praying to God to open my eyes and let me see if my husband was doing something that he wasn't supposed to be doing, or to give my husband the courage to come clean if he was. I was also praying for God to show me if I was dead wrong too. I keep wondering if God led me to his truck this morning to find those pills. I was in his truck earlier in the week looking for bank statements that he had in there and I looked in the middle counsel then and nothing was in there.

My mother-in-law asked my husband about 2 weeks ago if he was taking drugs or if he had taken any drugs in the past few months. He looked her right in the eye and said no. Over the past few months my husband has had these migraine type headaches that often lead to vomiting. I thought they could have been stress related and told him he might consider seeing his doctor to get some migraine meds. He also told our therapist that there's days when he's working that he can't focus or concentrate and ends up sitting in his truck for 3 hours, he's been making mistakes on the job he's never made before, etc. Here I was thinking that stress was causing all of this but now I think it's the vicodin. I pulled up some info on it - a person can become addicted in as little as 5 days. One of the side effects is not being to focus or think clearly. Then some of the side effects of withdrawal are headaches, nausea, vomiting, irritability, insomnia - all of which he's experienced. I think he takes it for a while then stops, has those symptoms and then goes back to taking it.

Should I confront him on this??? Or do I want to see if he says something to me about finding the pills? What would you do???

[rdsmith3]

You should absolutely talk to him about this, in a loving way. It is very serious.

As your husband, he is being dishonest with you.

As a provider for the family, he is jeopardizing his job. Also, he is probably obtaining the stuff illegally, and he could go to jail.

As a father, he should not be alone with the kids if he is impaired.

He should not be driving under the influence -- he could harm others, or you, or his children, or himself.

I pray that God will give you the right words to say to your husband, and I pray that God opens his ears and eyes so that he is receptive to you message. I pray that he makes a commitment to lasting change.



P.S. There are banks in my area that have machines that count change for you. You don't have to roll it, and the banks do not charge a fee.

[jesuslovesyou]

Yes, you need to talk to your husband. Don't jump to conclusions though that he didn't see a doctor and that it wasn't prescribed. Yes, I know he has lied before, but if you go in confrontational, he will probably just get defensive and lies become more lies to cover the lies. Maybe talk about your concern with the headaches, stress etc. and see if he has or will go see a doctor. Then you can bring up the pills you found, because for you to hide that you found or took them is deceptive too. My husband has been on prescribed Norco (Vicodin w/o the acedominiphen) for years along with a bag full of other medications - all prescribed by this pain management doctor. He periodically takes himself off and back on to where he doesn't have much of a life...and neither do we. He is suffering from pain, but reality is this doesn't work and when he combines it with alcohol - a huge no, no...life is even worse. Do I blame the doctor for continuing to prescribe this-yes. Do I blame my husband for self medicating himself and not finding a better solution and for shutting his family out - yes, Do I blame myself for not communicating better and forcing myself to tell the doctors what his life is really like - yes. But here I type out my problem while he misses another day of work and just sleeps...until it is time for him to coach baseball and he manages to get up and help "his boys". My point is this - talk about it openly and with the proper concern, but not judgmentally, because the problem won't go away by itself and maybe he really does need medical help like a migraine medication or a better way to deal with stress etc. My prayers are with you.