Growthtrac Community

[ladyt]

Well I really don't know where to begin.

My teen had her baby 6 weeks ago. He was 5.3 weeks early weighing 4lbs 7 ozs at birth he now weighs 7 lbs. My 17 yr old has found a new older boyfriend whom she met through a friend a week after being home from hospital. She has been letting this guy in our home during the day while I'm home. She lets the baby stay in the same pampers all night long and a few weeks ago was not feeding him at night. I reported her.

They have been pumping services into our home to try to help turn her around but she is still rebelling. She has called me a "B" and has threatened to harm me due to her anger of me stepping in to protect the baby.

This 23 yr old guy will not come to meet me face to face. He has been unemployed for some time and finally found a job last week. My dau has been working long hours and expects me to watch the baby without asking. I informed her that she must ask and that she can only work her shift and not overtime as she needs to be with her baby.

She withdrew most of her saving s out last Weds and the next day did not have a dime. I feel she gave it to this guy. I saw where she had apt info written with cost of house items on paper and then two nights ago she packed up all of her things as well as the baby. I informed her counselor and her counselor informed her Dept of children & Families’ caseworker. They came to the house and told her if she moves out before her 18th birthday that they will submit an abuse report and she will risk losing her baby. She was very upset about that.

She told them that I am insecure and have low self-esteem b/c I thought her dad was cheating on me when in fact it was just a good friend. They asked her if she was angry at me for the divorce and she said no that she was glad her dad was free to be happy and away from me. She also taped a family pic on my computer where she had scraped my face off. That hurted!

She tried to come in my room to pick a fight but my door was locked. She pounded on my door yelling and cursing but I did not open. I told police but they say since she’s a minor I could not put her out. She will be 18 on Oct 9th! I am being abused by a minor and I can’t do anything about it. OMG!!!

[km]

Sorry I didn't catch this (my screen shows down to "stuff" unless I scrool down, and I tend to miss the lower items).

And I'm sorry to hear that she is still rebelling so fervently.

[SAM]

Oh my! This is awful. Your strength has been amazing through this. I wonder why her father has not taken her in along with his grandson, if things are so perfect with grandpa?

Glad to hear your grandson is healthy and doing well and gaining weight. They are such little blessings so matter how they come into this world. Your heart must ache for him.

I will keep praying for you, your daughter and your grandson.

[ladyt]

Her dad secretly took her this morning to open new bank account at his bank so I can't see what she is doing with her money. He can do things like this but not things to heal his on daughter. She will be getting a large settlement and I guesss he has heard about it, so he has opened account with their name on it.

[SAM]

Is this settlement from the abuse case with the pastor?

As a minor, can they give the funds to her, or would it need to be put into a trustee account with both parents?

[ladyt]

She will be 18 in 5 months and I have to guardianship court in June but not sure of the date. If she turns 18 w/in a certain window...I think 90 days then there is nothing I can do. She will get a monthly check begining in Oct. However, we are working feverously to figure out how to keep her from accessing all of the money until a certain age.

Yes its a settlement from the abuse case. I have sole custody of her so her dad's name will not be on the upfront check. I hope to be able to tie the up front money up for 5 years, put some in her baby's name in a seaprate account. Not sure who to call and research my options. My attorney is good however at the end of the day its all about them getting their money.

[ladyt]

Well my daughter was at it again disrespecting me in front of her friends, mocking me, passing to brush up against me, piling trash in the hallway refusing to take it out, telling me what to do about her baby's need so I pushed her off when I had enough of her passing me and she started hitting me. I dropped her to the ground and restrain her by sitting on her. When I did get her she started hitting me from behind. She then locked herself in my room, took my credit cards out of my wallet and refused to give them back. I called police as I did on Monday when she was cursing me and trying to pick a fight. My door was lock so she did not get in on Monday night and stated via text I was sooo lucky my door was lock. Well we both went to jail Sat night. She was release Sunday at noon and I was released at 7 pm. What a Mother's Day! To God be the Glory. If this is what it took to get her to her dad's then so be it.

I had to sleep on steel top bunk b/c they ran out of mattresses and was not bringing anymore in, so I am so achy and very sleepy. Food there wasn't too bad but then again I was hungry.

[rdsmith3]

ladyt

I am so incredibly sorry that you had to spend Mother's Day in jail. I pray for change in your situation.

[resecured]

Dearest Ladyt,

Mercy!!!!!!! So does this mean then that she is indeed at her dad's place. Should be interesting how all of that turns out. Be ready, for I'm sure it won't be too long and she will be calling you for help, for her and the baby. Is her boyfriend still in the picture?

Why in the world would they put you in jail? You were defending yourself. Unbelieveable!!!!!!!

I'm praying for you and your daughter. I pray that she will wake up and realize how she is acting. More times than not, payback comes full circle.

-RJ-

p.s. It's good to hear from you though!

[veggiemelt]

Lady T
I read your posts, but I never really know what to say to you. Thank God, my kids have been nothing but a blessing. Your stories are interesting though as they sound so much like the battles between my parents and my little sister. I am sorry for you troubles. You have been through alot.

[ladyt]

My dau is with her dad by force. He does not have the guts to tell her he does not want her to live with him. Now he's staying up late, taking her to and from work. She wants to live with him since she says she does not want a realtionship with me b/c she hates me with a passion.

Her knee was slightly swollen b/c she fell to the floor but told police I kicked her in the knee and slapped her several times in the face. Not true. The law has always been on her side. She has struck me a few times, always prepared to call me a B. Defies every rul she can.

DCF is involved and knows how I have tried to help. Even the officer that came says she has been here several time about her but since we both had marks, then we both needed to be in jail and maybe DCF would do their job and remove us from each other. I did not have to go to jail to make them do that.

She will see the differnce in staying with her dad than living with me. He wil have to spoend time with his grandson and take her to appts and work. God is still working things out.

I asked my ex to bring baby to me for a few hrs and he did. I miss the little one. My dau has court May 20th and I have court May 27th. My ex asked if I was to be with our dau for court. I said o no, that's all you.

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow. Keep praying.

[km]

My son was a challenge for a while, but nothing like that.

I hope you continue to find the strngth to endure this, and that she straightens out.

[ladyt]

I know things will work out but I don't want her back in our home. DCF called this morning and asked if, only if they had to remove baby would I take him. I said only if his dad/paternal grands did not want to take him. I see my dau coming over to the house still trying to control me, not keeping to the visitation schedule, etc. TOO MUCH DRAMA!!! I would not allow my grandson to go into foster care. I have discussed this with his paternal grands and they agree. I'm tired, I hurt physically and mentally. The abuse must stop.

[km]

That sounds reasonable.

If you do end up taking him - make sure the visitation is clearly spelled out. And you want it enforceable when you daughter violates it.

[ladyt]

I don't want to go through the drama of enforcing anything. I just want visitation. I'm jsut concerned about the baby's safety. If she feels rejected or get angry she may hurt the baby. This si DCF's concern as well as her counselor.