Growthtrac Community

[nikki]

Hi everyone,

I need some advice parents, please! My 5 year old son is currently enrolled in a Montessori school and for the past year that he has been going there, he hasnt had any complaints. However, for the past few weeks he has been telling me that he doesn't want to go to school anymore and cries every time I drop him off. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that school is boring. He does the same thing at Sunday school. Whenever I try to leave him there he throws a fit and tells me that he wants to sit in the sanctuary with me and listen to the pastor. If I some how do get him to stay at Sunday school, the teachers tell me that he sulks the whole time and doesnt get involved in any of the activities. When I ask my son why he does this, he tells me that Sunday school is boring too.

Does anyone have any suggestions for instilling a love for school and learning in my son? He will be going into grade 1 in September, and I dont want him to start hating school from now - he still has so many years left to go!

Thank you

--Nikki

[SAM]

Hi Nikki - sorry I missed your post from several days ago. Welcome!

Usually changes in school behavior can mean a couple things -

1) there is something he is fearful of - could be another child
2) there could be changes going on at home
3) he is going through a period of separation anxiety from you - this can appear out of nowhere, even when not
experience in the past.
4) he may have been reprimanded by one of the teachers for misbehavior
5) it can be a cry for more attention from the parent
6) maybe he doesn't like the teacher or doesn't feel connected to them - sometimes a "little" extra attention goes a long way
from the teacher

It would be a good idea to talk with the teachers and come up with a strategy together. Maybe the teacher can give him
more projects.

[nikki]

Thank you for your advice Sam This week he has not given me any problems about going to school, which leads me to beleive that he was just going through a phase. However, now that you mention it, there are some other issues going on in my home that may also be affecting him. I'll post seperately in the relationship section of the website as I feel it would be more relevant there.

Thank you again!

[SAM]

You're welcome.

Interesting, my grandson was over yesterday afternoon after school - same age as your son.
I'm a young grandma. Anyway, we were outside pulling weeds and trimming flowers, and he was helping me
by carrying the garbage bag. He's just chattering away about school and things, then tells me he is sad because
the other day his daddy told his mommy to be quiet - she was talking too much! I cut my finger and said "crap"
and he told me that was a bad word. (I know it is, but almost sliced off my finger with the trimming shears - I'm grateful
the Holy Spirit kept my tongue in check.)

It made me realize how incredibly sensitive our little munchkins are to everything they hear and how quickly they pick up on
vibes from the family.

[nikki]

It's so true - everything does affect them! And now that you mention it, I need to take the word "crap" out of my vocabulary
I
tried taking him to Sunday school this past Sunday, and he freaked out on me - he was crying and screaming and kicking to the point where I just had to bring him into the sanctuary with me. Do you think I should try to force him to go to Sunday school, or just let him sit with me and listen to the pastor? I don't want him to start hating church by forcing him to go to Sunday school if he really doesnt like it, but on the other hand, I don't want him feel like if he makes a big scene that he will get his way.

How do I deal with this?

[km]

Is he one of those kids prone to being bullied?
That sort of change can be seen in kids who are being bullied - odd that it would happen in both places at the same town (unless perhaps the same bully were at school and church - perhaps not a huge stretch in a small town but unlikely in a larger community)

[SAM]

Try staying with him in the classroom next week instead of going into the sanctuary. Just sit in the background and observe.

[nikki]

Being bullied at school? No I don't think so although I could be wrong. The children all seem to be nice and friendly with him from what I've seen. And I've seen him playing with his friends in the playground too, and he has a great time with them. And we live in a large community where it is highly unlikely that a bully would be at school and church.
Yes, I will stay with him next Sunday and see what happens. Another problem could be that we do not have a stable church...we kind of go back and forth between my church, and my boyfriend's church. Could this be the problem?

[SAM]

Yes, going back and forth between churches can be causing him anxiety.