Growthtrac Community

[ladyt]

My dau has been back with me for 2 weeks. I thought all was well but learned this weekend she has been driving her car all over town picking up various guys. In 5 days she has placed almost 1,000 miles on her new car. My ex sis-in-law and I went on a day trip on Sat and left about 6 am. She had her freind call my ex sis-in-law and ask what time we were returning. She told her 11 pm Sat night. Well we got back at 6;30 pm.

I got home saw her car in my spot in the garage - Sign #1 that something was not right

Saw lots of dishes in sink. I ask why and was told they ate a lot. Lie #1

I asked who else is in here or been in here? Her frined came out and I asked why she was there and she said her mom was to have called me to let me know she had to stay at my house. NOT!

AC was on in Florida Room - Not normal

Back door open and trash bag full of liquor and beer cans- She claims she picked them up out of the yard and neightbors yard- Lie!

Had on bathing suit - Asked why and said she was going to beach but changed mind - Lie!

Baby closed up in his room - mind you he's almost 5 mos

Her freind started asking about headache meds and ask me to go look for some in my room

I then moved the furniture that she had in front of her closet and opened closet and found 3 guys hiding! I'm DONE!!!!

She is not remorseful about any of it. I took her car keys and she will not get them back until Aug 24th when school starts.

[km]

Following your trials here over time, and your Job-like perserverence through them, I almost (facetiously) wonder if you need an excorcism.

[ladyt]

lol...you're too funny!

It'c coming to a head soon. My teen will be 18 in 6.5 weeks. I am going to mediation for the custody suit her dad filed but will only stay 1 hr max at $120.00 an hr, then allow it to go to trial in 2 months when she will be past 18. Her dad was notified today about the intent for the state to suspend his DL if he does not pay up his child support. I'm not wavering on that. I just bought school clothes and baby pampers. She tried to pull a fast one. I took her car last Sat and told her she would not get key back until school starts which is Monday. She tried to say her friend wanted to go to church but her friend cannot come pick her up. I told her I would drop her off but no she wanted the key. I said no so she called her dad and left to spend the weekend with him. Baby went to other grandmother's house for the weekend. So I'm enjoying my weekend! Praise the Lord!

[km]

enjoy some peace & quiet (I hope).

[ladyt]

Four more weeks before my teen dau is 18. She is really showing out now. I bought her a car so she would not have to ride the school bus with the baby. The school is 15 miles away as it is the only school with full-time day care for the students.

She is still neglecting the baby but unless she breaks a limb or kills him, Dept of Children and Svcs will not do anything but keep talking to her once a week.

She still plans to move out into her dad's apt. The baby was sick for a week and she would not take him to the doctor.
I made an appt last week for him to go and she took him but instead of going back to school or coming home she went to her current boyfriend's house. He's a H.S. dropout and does not work but they plan to marry.

In this sneaking away to his house she got a ticket for careless driving and speeding 80mph in a 65mph zone. Her ticket is $149. She does not know yet that I know. I told her last night that until I change teh car into her name and get the insurance changed over in her name she can only go to school and back home Mon - Fri because she speeds and she allows guys to drive the 2007 Honda CR-V.

Her dad gives her money without my knowledge and I still use my money to buy milk and pampers since she claims she has no money. She asked me could I meet her and bring her wallet that she mistakenly left home. I did but not before looking in it and she had $70! She said that money was for her nails!!!! Lord help me. I told her that I would no longer provide formula and pampers for her baby.

She gets 3 weeks worth from WIC but have not gone to renew because she is too busy running the streets. So its her choice whether her baby eats. I have shared my concerns with Dept Children Svcs who comes over weekly. Her dad is 3 mos in arrears on paying me child spt and money is getting tight for me. He gives it to her instead of me and she blows it on fast food, nails and treating her friends, cell phone minutes, clothes for herself, etc.

I asked her to come home from school but she has not come home. The baby's paternal grandma just texted me to say my dau dropped him there with her for the weekend. So do I take the car keys from her?

[rdsmith3]

Yes, I think you have to follow through on your rules for the car. That is a really tough situation with the baby's poor care.

I will keep praying for your situation.

[ladyt]

Thanks for all of your prayers. I have been hit on every side but Sat I am going to a college football game with a friend who is a sports announcer. I'm happy to be invited out for the first time in 15 mos, although its a daytime game with lunch.

[km]

So how did your night out go?

How are things with your daughter/grandson?

I sometimes start to worry when I don't see an update from you for a week or so (granted, I've been with very limited internet access or time this week, mainly just over the PDA phone - so if I have just missed it, I apologize).

[ladyt]

Hello,

My day out was great! Went to eat out then to a college game where he was the play by play announcer. I enjoyed it all. Will just enjoy his friendship and rush into nothing. He attends my church and is in the choir. I'd seen him there like anyone else but did not think anything of him.

My grandson is doing well. My dau is counting down till her 18th birthday in 3 weeks and still being her father's child.

He is seeing someone and awaiting to move into his new 3 bedroom home so our dau can move into his apartment.

[km]

Good to hear you had a nice time with a gentleman. Probably best to transition into any new relationship slowly (let him get used to the 'soap opera' aspects of your life right now).

I noted wryly that your ex is stiffing you on court ordered child support, but able to move into a new house while keeping his apartment for your daughter.

[ladyt]

Exactly! Glad someone else can see this besides me. Its crazy that he filed a financial affidavit that he makes $2400 a month when he was making $5k! He is a contractor so he can hide money. I can't. I work for a corporation. He has close to $100K in savings so he should be made to pay me the little he owes me. I sure could use it about now.

My dau was to have gone to WIC to get baby milk last week but is busy going other places, getting a careless driving ticket! I will not buy milk. (tough love) She was so rude to me today while on the phone with some guy. Then stated that she only has 3 more weeks before she turns 18 and get out. I told her she did not have to wait. The baby was crying but she is on the phone. She thought I would get him but I did not. She finally got up and now he's quiet. I have been asked by the caseworker to let the baby cry and if she asks, and to tell her I am helpng her to transition into the apt alone where she will not have my help. This is SO HARD to do! They rather her feel it while I can watch her now vs. not seeing what she will do when she's gone.

Yes, I wil take it slow. For now we both are interested in the same thing...taking it SLOW.

[resecured]

In three weeks your daughter is fixing to see what life is really all about. Tough love is very hard to do but it can hopefully be a wake-up call. I'm glad that you are dating and taking it slowly. You need time to exhale a bit from all that has been going on. Your life is going to change too, in three weeks. Hopefully for the better. I pray it will.

If your ex has someone else in his life, I wonder how long he will be "around" since he will no longer be able to harrass you through her. She may start to see him in a different light and realize "Mom" is the one who really cares. Not that I wish any more heartache on your daughter. I hope for her sake that he will truly be there for her, I just wonder how he will act once you will not have to contend with him much anymore. I know you are looking forward to that day. Will he help her get an appartment once his rent expires, or will she take over the * once she moves in?

Hang in there!

-RJ-

[ladyt]

Well, he has not really been in contact except texting her. He has not picked her up. I really do not think she will move and if she does I don't think it will be in his apt. She has this tendency to talk about me to her male friend's mother about me and has even asked some of them to move in their home but no takers.

Her dad is helping her only until his lease is up. He may have changed his mind now that he sees he is not getting custody and has wasted money and stand to give me all of the back pay he owes me vs. half.

I don't want to invite my friend over for any amount of time although I'd like to invite him over for dinner on a Sunday. I don't want my dau to have an attitude and feed her dad invalid info, although she knows he has a friend and keeping it hush-hush from me. I'm happy for him.

She needs 300 dollars for her senior dues and he won't go half with me so I have to foot the bill and pay for gas. She start getting her monthly check Nov 1st so I hope she pays me back for all that I have loaned her for the car as well as unpaid bills pre-car. She also has to pay her $149 ticket.

[resecured]

When do you and he go to court? Wasn't he suppose to lose his license for lack of *?


-RJ-

[ladyt]

Yes he was to have lost his license, however two Friday's ago he hired an attorney who submitted a legal document to halt the process. So it is on hold awaiting a hearing on it. Since he now has legal representation the hearing could be within 30 days. He has to get his attorney to convince the judge not to suspend his license. Good luck with that I said to myself.