Growthtrac Community

[rdsmith3]

Our little guy is a real bright spot in our lives. He is challenging, as most toddlers are, but he is also a wonderful kid. He smiles a lot.

Here he is on stage at the famous Ryman auditorium in Nashville last month. No, he is not really performing -- they let anyone go on stage to have a picture taken.

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Anyway, he has some issues that we do not quite understand. He has speech problems. It seems like the thoughts are in his head, but he has trouble getting them out. He also has problems with socializing with his peers, and a large part of that might be his poor communication. There some other nuances to his condition that make it very puzzling.

We contacted our school district for some help (as much as I complain about my $11,000/year in property taxes, they have been very helpful). Our son has been evaluated by a speech therapist, occupational therapist, physical therapist, and a neurologist. we will find out soon if he is going to be "classified" which means that the school district would provide him with speech, occupational and physical therapy, all for "free". The neurologist ruled out Asperger's and Autism, which was a relief, but I don't think the doctor had any clue what is really going on. He conjectured that it is ADD, but how do you figure that out with a 3 year old?

He needs the therapy, and I think it will be very helpful for him.

Please pray that he gets the therapy from the school district (because we cannot afford it) and that it helps him with speech and socialization.

Thanks very much.

[km]

It is good to be recognizing problems instead of going the common denial route. If it is any comfort, a lot of very bright kids start out like he is, and do quite well in life once they learn to let their strengths cary them (and how to minimize the weak spots impacts on their lives)/

[charity1]

rdsmith3,
He is precious! He and your family are in my prayers.

[j3anjean]

What a beautiful little boy! You are blessed. I will be praying for him.

[rdsmith3]

Thanks for your prayers.

[resecured]

RD,

He is sooooo adorable. I was just wondering, have they ruled out any hearing problems. I only ask because a friend's son had speech problems too and the drs. ran all sorts of tests and then finally as a last resort checked his hearing. He now can hear and is doing wonderfully.

I am keeping all of you in my prayers.

-RJ-

[rdsmith3]

RD,

He is sooooo adorable. I was just wondering, have they ruled out any hearing problems. I only ask because a friend's son had speech problems too and the drs. ran all sorts of tests and then finally as a last resort checked his hearing. He now can hear and is doing wonderfully.

I am keeping all of you in my prayers.

-RJ-

Thanks for your prayers. A hearing test is on the list of things to do, but we have not seen any evidence of hearing problems. In fact, his hearing seems pretty good.

[km]

Hearing problems can take different forms - sometimes it is an overall loss, sometimes it is only certain frequencies. If he has a problem with those frequencies where adult female voices tend to run, he could have trouble hearing their voices while generally hearing well. You want your testing to be detailed enough to catch that sort of thing.

[rdsmith3]

Hmm ... interesting ... I sometimes do not hear my wife's voice. I wonder if it is hereditary?

[km]

rd - No, that sounds more like a case of testosterone poisioning.

[rdsmith3]

I would also appreciate your prayers regarding my wife in this situation. The wrinkle in this for her is that she works p/t, two full days a week. Our son is in day care during those two days. If the school district recommends therapy for, say, two or three hours a day, five days a week, then it virtually eliminates her ability to work. At the very least, it means she has to change her schedule. I understand how that is upsetting to her, but it has led to her being angry and resentful of me, because my work schedule is not changing.

[FaithHopeJoy]

it has led to her being angry and resentful of me, because my work schedule is not changing.

rd - Is that non-negotiable? Do you have any scope for flexibility in your work? You come across as a caring husband and a devoted father. Can't help thinking it would be an amazing gesture of support to your wife if you could help her balance her schedule. It's probably not that simple.... or you would have done it, I'm sure!

Praying for you both - and for the precious child at the heart of this.

FHJ

[km]

I had this sort of battle when the kids were younger. I was in private practice (pure hourly rate billing) and she was wanting more money - but wanting me to work less. She was salaried, with all that teacher time off. She just didn't get it, but blasted me severely anyway.

[rdsmith3]

I help out a lot with driving kids to all different activities, doctors appts, etc. Last night I went to back to school night at the high school for two of our kids. I help her with cleaning, grocery shopping, and other work around the house. However, my job is 50 miles away. In New Jersey traffic, my commute each way is at least an hour. It is just not possible for me to drop off or pick up at school during the day. My job provides a good salary, good benefits, and even a car. The Lord has blessed us. Moreover, during these difficult economic times, it is a blessing just to have a job. My employer has laid of a significant number of people during the last two years. Those of us who are left have more work to do. In addition, as my wife knows, as perverse as it is, my department seems to place a premium on "face time" -- the people who are there for a lot of hours are praised and rewarded. I don't care about that, and I already work the minimum number of hours to get my job done, and I am not interested in a "career" at this point. I leave work between 5:15 and 5:30 most days, but I don't get home until 6:30 or 7:00.

I am empathetic about the change that is required for her, but we have talked about it for a couple of weeks now. In my opinion, she likes to see herself as a victim. We have talked about this in the past, and she has acknowledged that. Also, I believe there is a pattern that whenever there is an issue with a child, she gets angry and resentful towards me.

Yesterday, we had a difficult conversation. I said to her that our inability to have a conversation about the situation with our son indicates that we still have a lot of issues in our marriage, and can we please work on our marriage. I have recently asked her about going to a Weekend to Remember conference (no answer) and a New Life Weekend (no answer). I rarely bring up the fact that we need to work on the marriage, but I do mention it from time to time. What she seems to hear is that I am saying everything is her fault. The end result was that she left me a series of nasty messages yesterday, including comments that she does not want me and does not want to be married to me.

Well, enough moaning and rambling. Your prayers are appreciated.

[rdsmith3]

We met with the school district yesterday and observed some of the special ed classes. We agreed to put him in a class that is 1/2 day for five days/week. He will get two hours of OT, one hour of PT, and one or two hours of speech therapy per week, all from the school district. On the two days that my wife works, a bus will take him from school directly to the daycare place he has been in for a while, so it is a familiar place, and she will not have to change her work schedule.

All things considered, I think it was the best outcome. Thanks for your prayers, and praise God.

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