Growthtrac Community

[pietistic]

I'm 25, she's 28 - neither ever married, no kids. We both have been through our share of rough experiences, including living with someone in sin, and after breaking it off, proclaiming never to live with someone again unless we're married.

We met just over two months ago at a club. I'd re-committed my life yet she was sort-of hanging on the edge. We started talking and ended up seeing each other for lunch. We went to church together the following weekend (and have been every weekend but once since then). She's since re-committed her life to Christ also.

Within the first month we discussed not living together and not having pre-marital sex. Of course, we both have had it in the past, but this was to be different; God was calling us to something more.

We pray together and talk confidently about marriage, choosing to love each other. We read all the articles on GrowthTrac and Marriage Partnership (http://www.christianitytoday/mp/).

We know that we need to give our relationship time to grow but we both have also openly expressed that we our certain we are to be married. There's no other way to explain it other than God working on our hearts.

We are concerned that we may move too fast yet the longer we are together the harder the restraint on intimacy becomes. We don't see each other every day even though we'd like to do so. We spend a great deal of time together on the weekends and have even spent the night with each other (no intimacy).

We are trying to follow God's will and want reinforncement that he will speak to us clearly when he wants us to marry.

Has anyone been in an experience like this and able to give me some advice? We've been praying for strength and patience but it only seems to strengthen our relationship and make things even harder.

[kabernathy]

I AM PRAYING FOR YOU! I too have been in this situation. However, I had been married before, but my husband hadn't so much as had another girlfriend. When we met we almost immediatly moved in together.(there is a long store behind that). However, I had just started going back to church and wasn't sure what I was gonna do. One night, we were laying in bed and the subject of church came up. He told me he would like to go see what it was about (he had never been). So, the following week we went to my home church. We have been going ever since. HOWEVER,
the fact that we were living together didn't make it easy on our consious. So, we decided together that we would live together but not be intimate. It didn't work as we planned. So, what Im saying is...if you continue to spend the night with each other it will get the better of you most of the time. So, it is better to not do that.
NOW, the marraige thing. My husband and I met in July started dating in September, he proposed in December , and we married in April. That quick. We both new that God had us together for a reason. We were both at a point in our lives where we wanted to give up on everything, but then somehow we found each other. Since, we have been married for 2 wonderful years. They were NOT EASY years, but with Gods help and guidance we will pull through all.

So, My advice to you is...Talk to your pastor about the marriage...Second.......ALWAYS be with other believers and NEVER ALONE for long amounts of time.

Good Luck! God Bless.

[SAM]

Sorry, we missed responding to you post so long ago.

If you are alone too often, or even spending the night together, it will eventually sabotoage your desire to stay sexually pure.

If you are at a point where marriage is a consideration, seek pre-marital counseling with your pastor or a mentor couple. Consider separate Christian counseling if the other is not available. This way you are concentrating on building a marital foundation and not focusing on a wedding date.